It has been a few days and I feel like I can now begin to process some of my thoughts more openly. Social media has gone nuts lately! At what point did it become ok for grown adults to belittle and dehumanize those who are not like them? These were not the lessons I was taught as a child….oh, hold on….maybe they were…
In my youth when my questions and thoughts were outside of the prescribed ideal there were plenty of nonverbal signals that informed me I was out of line…as I grew older the pressure of those around me was enough to solidify those early nonverbals. For a child like my brother, lines meant little more then that there was something beyond to be explored, and that it was likely interesting….but for me…the girl who desired to please parents, teachers and bosses…the girl with endless questions on the inside….this was a world of shackles.
I learned young that my opinions had little value…thoughts stifled. Questions always had a specific answer and I knew when my questions were the wrong kind. Tone speaks so loudly when you are young. Now, I am grown a woman of 34 and I look at the world around me with its endless bickering and ragging and I think….this is what I was taught….
Those with power have voice.
Those with a voice keep it by being louder then those around them.
Teach your children the black and white so they know and will do good.
Asking questions = questioning authority.
Learning means that a person can recite what they have been told NOT understand and own what they believe.
It is no wonder to me that this current culture is filled with those who yell…..with people who say horrible things about the ‘others’ that surround them. This is not ‘rag on my childhood hour’ but there were seeds planted years ago that are now coming to fruit. Cultures and generations clashing that don’t even have the vocabulary to speak the same language.
I’m learning and owning a few things
To my Christian friends and community
It is rare that I am in 100% agreement with you, and unlike I grew up believing, that is ok. I respect you. I love you. I want to know you and how God has moved in your life. I do not have the corner of the market on truth, and the body of Christ is diverse for good reason….I can see parts of my savior reflected in you that I would miss if I didn’t know you.
I will do you wrong. I will hurt you. I will speak without thinking, and act on impulse. I will put myself before you…time and again. I am sorry…and I will be sorry. I will do my best to except your correction and criticism with grace and humility. I will trust that you are looking out for my good.
To those I love who do not walk this faith with me
You are a jewel and a treasure, a blessing to me in ways that you can’t even imagine. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It is my earnest desire to create a space that allows for you to share who you are, what you think and why….even if it is drastically different then where I stand. You bring color to my life. Thank you.
I will do my best to respect how we are different and continue to invite you into this life I live. I will not hold you to my convictions and I hope to learn from yours. This doesn’t mean I won’t tell you what I think….sometimes when you ask….sometimes when you don’t, but I trust that if you know me you already know that
There is more to be said….I am confident that it will make its way out in fits and starts….